Anchoccoli by dwave

---

The story of how I got this recipe is deeply disturbing, at least to me it is. One of my classmates in junior high, Alex, was the nerdiest guy in class. He didn't seem interested in girls, always corrected the math teacher and if he touched alcohol he lost the plot. I remember at a school party Alex had two beers and started stripping when someone put on the Right Said Fred song "I am too sexy for my shirt". In the end the girls had to intervene to make him keep on his briefs. Decades later I saw him again at a school reunion. He worked at the CERN large Hadron collider in Switzerland, was married and seemed to be doing well. Later at the reunion party I noticed Alex could still not handle alcohol when he started inappropriately touching women. I took him aside and said that as a married man he should know better, when suddenly he got tears in his eyes and said "hey man, I am not married. Do you really think a guy like me can get a woman?". He then proceeded to tell me the most fantastical story I ever heard. At CERN he worked on quantum physics and then got a kind of side job at Facebook in Silicon Valley. Facebook started it's early work on the Metaverse and worked with D-Wave quantum computers in order to create a completely realistic virtual world called the Metaverse. I thought this was just nerdy drunk talk and tried to cut short our conversation when he grabbed my arm and said "Don't you realize we are in a Metaverse that is in a Metaverse, in a Metaverse already? Instead of suffering in this reality I am involved in building the next one. I am building the girlfriend module for our new reality bro". I really started to get enough from this drunken nerd talk so I pulled away his hand that was still grabbing onto my shoulder and turned away. He grabbed my shoulder again and said "I know you think this is BS but I can prove it to you. Tell me one thing to ask your Metaverse girlfriend and I will leave you alone tonight. The metaverse already knows everything about you, and your girlfriend has already been built! I will email you her answer", I pulled loose from his grip once more and while walking away shouted back at him "I will never be in any virtual world so I will never have a virtual girlfriend! And in my anger I shouted "my shitty virtual girlfriend can stay in her virtual kitchen and cook me a virtual meal with virtual ingredients that suck. Asshole"! A week later I got a short cryptic email from Alex followed by another email:

After all this, Alex never replied to my contact requests. Since I have a pizza restaurant I could not not try this crazy disgusting recipe. Everything mentioned in that email is true. I dislike the ingredients exactly as described. After the first bite of this pizza I knew Alex wasn't telling mad drunken stories. This pizza tastes amazing. It tastes like a spring meadow. It tastes like the most beautiful color green you cannot even imagine. It tastes divine. Somewhere in the Metaverse is a girl that knows me better than myself. But to be honest Carina scares me. This pizza is almost like some kind of witchcraft. I have never replied to her email. If we are already in a Metaverse, how do we get out? 

I understand if you are skeptical about this story. Before I tasted the pizza I thought it was a hoax. After tasting this pizza you will know.